Baby Killer

Americans don’t always support the wars we are in, but they support the troops. That wasn’t always the case. During the time of Vietnam, returning soldiers were often regarded as maniacal baby killers. I soon learned as much upon coming home, fresh from the war in Southeast Asia.

I was an infantry foot soldier, a machine-gunner in the 1st Cav, so I guess I was suspect. My first night home in Chalmette, my drunken brother-in-law demanded to know how many baby sans I had killed and how many mama sans I had raped. I was drunk too, and just held my tongue.

Gail and I soon left Chalmette. After a few days on the beaches in Florida, we drove to Vivian in north Louisiana to spend a little time with my family. My uncle Grady and his wife Artie had a barbecue for Gail and me. Everyone was happy to see me, but I soon noticed every time I began to say something about Vietnam, everyone would turn away. I quickly learned that no one wanted to hear about my tour of duty.

Uncle Grady sensed my angst and asked me to go squirrel hunting with him the next day. We drove in silence to a wooded area a few miles from town. I had my old .410 shotgun.
“Let’s split up. I’ll go this way,” he said, pointing.

The forest quickly encompassed me and I sat on the ground against a big pine without firing a shot. Grady soon returned and saw me sitting against the tree. He joined me and put his big arm around my shoulder.

“You okay?”

I shook my head and said, “I’m not sure if I’ll ever be okay again.”

“You’re back home now with your family. Whatever happened, you better know you’re family supports you and always will. It’s over now and we are proud of you.”

Grady spoke for the whole family, but everyone else soon let me know that they felt the same way. Still, his words that day lifted a heavy weight from my soul.

I smiled, shook his hand and said, “I’m okay. I’ll make it now.”

My family was one thing, the rest of the world another. I soon learned that all Vietnam vets were considered dope smoking, heroin addicted crazies that could fly off at the drop of a hat and murder people. I quickly learned to keep my Army experiences to myself.

Things have changed for soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan because citizens no longer hold returning soldiers in contempt. No one questions their involvement in foreign wars that few support, or their commitment and patriotism. Still, I bet I know how they really feel.

More than forty years have passed since my own involvement in an unpopular foreign war and no one has ever asked me even a single question about what I did while I was there. Bet if I mentioned the subject, even today, most would still shake their heads and wonder if I am mentally stable.

I'm grinning to myself now and thinking, "Maybe they have a point."

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